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My Son is my Son until he takes a Wife

My son is my son until he takes a wife,

But my daughter is my daughter all of her life.

The poem is in harmony with the biblical endorsement that a man should “leave his father and mother, and stay close to his wife.”  It seems that it is common throughout history for a man to become more distant from his parents after marriage.  I mistakenly thought that in these modern times, this poem would be too old-fashioned for my son.  However, as I watched him say his wedding vows to his new wife, I felt deep within my heart that it held truth.  He was no longer mine. 

When my son was born, my aunt recited the poem above to me.  I never really knew what it meant until my son went off to college and then met the woman who would be his wife.  This weekend, in a beautiful ceremony, my son and daughter-in-law were married.  The pair will make their lives four hours away from where I live.  The couple lives close to the bride’s parents, and they will be privy to his everyday comings and goings. 

As the priest bestowed blessings upon the two, I cried tears of happiness and sorrow.  Happiness that my son had found the half of his heart that was missing until his bride came along, and of sorrow, that my son was no longer my baby boy.  He belongs to his wife and the life that they must forge together.  He is independent and strong.  He does not need my protection any longer, but must now be the protector of his new family. 

 I gazed up into his strong, mature face as we moved to the Mother/Son dance at the reception.  The little boy was gone and a man had taken his place. This was a man of honor, integrity, and strength.  He was all the things that I hoped he would be as he was growing.  Moreover, as hard as it was, I knew it was time to liberate him from my parental embrace.  It was time to hand him over to his new life and his new love.

I imagine that all mothers with sons mourn the loss.  The shift in the relationships leaves the mother, who was once the most important woman in her son’s life, playing second to the new woman.  However, the mother must free her son so that he can be self-reliant and give his attention to his wife.  It is imperative that the wife take center stage.  It is traditional, granted, however, the purpose is still as viable today, as it was in biblical times.  It is the way it must be. 

Therefore, it is with great joy that I give my son to his new wife and welcome her into our family.  I am confident that our relationship will grow to be strong and lasting.  In addition, the old saying, “I have not lost a son, but gained a daughter” holds much truth and wisdom.  The circle of love and life will continue to eternity. Blessings and Peace.

 

 

Grandmother Musings 2012-2013.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jamie Nowinski – Grandmother Wisdom/Grandmother Musings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Stitches of Love

The only gift is a portion of thyself.”  

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

I put off opening my Christmas gifts until everyone had finished opening theirs.  A pile of brightly wrapped packages sat on the floor around me.  I had to be careful not to crush the boxes with the legs of the rocking chair. Basking in the happiness of watching my grandson yelp and scream as he opened his toys, I patiently waited.

When it was my turn, I opened all the little gifts first.  I received a bottle of my favorite perfume, a gift card to buy books, and a lavender-scented candle. Then there was a massive box. This was a gift from my mother and it had rested under my Christmas tree and had teased me for weeks.

When I was a little girl, the anticipation of Christmas morning drove me crazy.  Often, I peeled the tape off one of my packages to see what was hidden inside. My family has teased me since and they take care to tape my gifts extra tight alleviate the temptation.  What they do not realize is that now, I relish the anticipation.  Being surprised is better than knowing.  This package, I noticed, was lacking the usual amount of tape.  Maybe my mom had begun to believe that I no longer cheated and peeked at my gifts.

I picked up the huge box and set it on my lap. I tilted the rocking chair back a bit to arrange the box so I could open it.  I knew it must be something good, because my son-in-law was standing ready to snap pictures. My mom had called twice to see if I had opened my gifts, yet.  Anxiously, I pulled open the box and the contents spilled out across my lap.

Property of Grandmother Musings

As I palmed the beautifully stitched quilt, tears began to form.  The fabric was soft and smelled new.  The colors, bound superbly together, were perfect.  All of my favorite shades of blue and white joined with just a touch of yellow. It was a bright and sunny cover. However, what made me hiccup in tearful happiness, were the daisies. They were interwoven in the quilting and in the fabric. They told me that my mom loved me.

I know that my mom shopped for months to find the perfect fabrics and colors for my quilt.  Every winter, she takes a month-long trip and visits quilt stores all over the country.  My quilt is made from fabric from Arizona, Texas, California, to name just a few stops my mother made. She thought about me for days when she was shopping, cutting, sewing, and binding. She put her heart and soul into every stitch with only me in mind as she was creating.  What could possibly be more special?

Not only did my mom make me an heirloom quilt for Christmas, she also gave me a piece of herself.  My king-sized creation warms me at night, but more importantly, it warms my heart every time I think about the time and thought that went into making it.  It is truly a piece of art that I will treasure, forever.  The quilt is one of my favorite things, and it holds stitches of motherly love in every fiber.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Grandmother Musings 2012-2013.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jamie Nowinski – Grandmother Wisdom/Grandmother Musings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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