I wore the polka dot blouse, today. I was not going to wear it; after all, it does not cover my big arms. I know this because I wore it on vacation. When I saw the pictures of my husband and me, I swore I would never wear it again. However, there is no air conditioning in my school except in my office and it does not work very well. So, I ironed it.
It feels comfortable to wear the polka dot shirt. It is cotton and has no sleeves. It reminds me of the pact I made with myself at the beginning of summer. The one where I promise myself that I will wear whatever I wanted to wear no matter how fat I think I look.
At work, it was so hot and humid I was grateful that I had made the decision to ignore my insecurities. Especially, when at a meeting with a coworker, that was clearly melting because she was wearing a tank top with a sweater over it. Instinct told me that she too hated her arms and had not yet made a pact with herself to be free of that body shaming. During the meeting, she complimented my polka dot blouse.
“How strange,” I told her. “I wasn’t going to wear this blouse today because my arms are fat.”
Her cheeks reddened, “That is why I wore this sweater. I hate my arms.”
I told her about the pact I made this summer. She warmed to the idea, literally; it was hot in her office. She removed her sweater to reveal the most adorable sleeveless blouse. I complimented her on her blouse, and I told her this:
“It is really sad that so many of us give up comfort and style just because we convince ourselves that our bodies are not worthy. Each of us is a picture of beauty and even if it is true that our bodies are fat, flabby, scarred, or whatever, we should not deny ourselves the right to wear something cool on a hot day.”
Copyright © Jamie Nowinski and Grandmother Wisdom/ Grandmother Musings 8/12/2016.
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