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Fortune Cookies…For a Better Future

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The best part of ordering Chinese food is the meal-ending crack of the fortune cookie.  It is exciting to see what little bit of wisdom is held in a crisp cashew shaped cookie, and they are tasty as well. However, lately, I have been disappointed in the quality of the fortunes found in the fortune cookies.

When I open that cookie, I want to hear something positive, something full of ancient wisdom, or something that I might hear from a palm reader. Since fortune cookies were introduced and created in the United States, the fortunes inside used to be based on proverbs, Bible verses, and English versions of  Confucius Teachings. Somewhere I think these wise little notes have gotten lost.  I do not think people want condescending words or nonsense in their cookies.  Maybe the fortune cookie companies need to get back to basics and hire more competent fortune writers. After all, people like me who order Chinese Food depend on this knowledge!

Here is an example of the ridiculous “fortunes” I have received lately…

“You have a quiet and unobtrusive nature.”  Huh? That is not a fortune. This is not even me!

“Help, I am a prisoner in a Chinese Bakery!”  Really? I am sending the Calvary to free you, now!  

“Eating causes obesity.”  Thanks. I’ll just stop eating now, Dr. Oz.

“You love Chinese Food.”  Duh!

Here is what I really want to read…

“The golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month.” Whoo-hoo!

“If your desires are not extravagant, they will be granted.” Is desiring a clothes-shopping trip on Rodeo Drive too extravagant?

“An admirer is hiding his or her intentions toward you.” Provided that my admirer is not a stalker, this could be good.

“You need a new environment. Go on vacation.” You are right! I would like to lie on a white sandy beach and drink rum all day in my bikini from Rodeo Drive. As long as it is not too extravagant…

If you are feeling discouraged and disheartened by your fortune cookie, please feel free to comment.  All comments will be forwarded to the worker who is trapped in the fortune cookie bakery for a speedy review. 

Fortune: You will read of a light haired woman who will make you laugh.  

Copyright © Jamie Nowinski and Grandmother Wisdom/ Grandmother Musings 2012-2013.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jamie Nowinski – Grandmother Wisdom/Grandmother Musings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About bigsmileu1

What good is living life if you don't share all the experiences, mistakes, and knowledge you have gained? I am a grandmother, a wife, a mother of two grown children, a Jr. High Teacher for almost two decades, an elementary principal and I want to share my experiences.

15 responses »

  1. endlessencounters

    Now THIS is something I can relate to, haha! It’s funny and entertaining, but also true. In fact, just a few days ago I ordered Chinese food from this place about ten minutes away from my house. As always, I was both excited and skeptical to read my fortune at the end of the meal. Do you know what it said? “Today, you will interact jovially with those closest to you”. My sister was literally sitting across the table from me and let me tell you, we did interact jovially…about how ridiculously hilarious that fortune was! Come to think of it, maybe there was something to it after all :P.

  2. Hahaha – did you really get “help I’m a prisoner in a Chinese bakery”? That is hilarious.

    The last fortune I had was a couple of weeks ago. It said “you will receive a call from a distant relative.” I guess it was true – just a few days late. I’d been receiving calls from all sorts of relatives due to my grandmother passing away, so my reaction was “well – duuuhhh…..”

    I’ve had some over the years that weren’t actually fortunes, just statements, like “Tomorrow is a another day”. Whoopeee.

    My absolute favorite fortune – I have it tacked up on my bulletin board, was “You put the extra in extraordinary.”

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  4. I just noticed that your posts are shared on Linkedin. Do you have a profile and do you mind if I send you an invite to connect?

  5. That is so true…the little fortune cookies writers are I think trying to ‘annoy’ the readers of same…eg..what ridiculous and boring thing can I write today….(I hate my job).lol….Diane

    • Ha! Ha! You are right Diane, the fortune cookie writers may actually hate their job, and they write these crazy fortunes to keep boredom away. I love it! Thanks for commenting. Have a great day! 🙂

  6. So, how does a person get the job of writing fortune cookie fortunes? I wonder if it is a short term contract or do you have to come up with new and profound fortunes month after month? Does this position require a degree in English – obviously not although I don’t think I’ve ever seen grammar mistakes. Maybe it should require a degree in philosophy.
    I would enjoy hearing words of wisdom or notable quotes but then they would have to call them notable quotes cookies – doesn’t sound quite right. Words of wisdom cookies not much better.
    I need to open a fortune cookie right now and read “Get a life!”
    Thanks for the good post.

    • I can just imagine the job description for fortune cookie writer. It goes something like…
      “Looking for a person with a philosophical mind, who can write in short succinct sentences.
      Must be willing to read fortunes, and work long hours. An appetite for small cookies is a plus.”
      You have a great mind — I love the way you think. Thank you for commenting on my post! Come back and visit anytime. 🙂

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