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Parenting Everyday

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Consistency, consistency, consistency!  You ground them, you yell, you show your displeasure, but it still does not seem as if your discipline measures are working.  What should you do?

Many parents, teachers, and specialists have spent many hours worrying and debating over subject of discipline.  The answer, however, is simply consistency.  No matter what your discipline style may be, if you consistently administer it, you will see results.

The biggest mistake that anyone who lives or works with children can make is not being consistent.  Kids are very intelligent, and they know, no matter the age, how to play the system.  Therefore, if your system is inconsistent, then the behavior will be inconsistent, too.

How does one become consistent?  Easy, every time your child breaks a rule, written or unwritten, you consistently give a consequence.  You may wish to think about what consequences are appropriate for each rule that is broken and the age of the child.  For instance, if your child comes home late from visiting a friend, then the child should have an appropriate consequence.  Maybe the child has less time next time he or she wishes to go to a friend’s house.  On the other hand, if a child does not complete his or her homework, possibly less TV or gaming time should be taken away.  The point here is that it really does not matter what consequence is chosen.  What matters is that you give one for every infraction.  Eventually, one will not be needed.  Your child will know what is expected and do it.

Now, this is not so simple.  Often it requires a great effort to have a whiny, grounded child sitting in your living room with the TV off. However, if you can persevere, your angst will be short-lived.  Your child will take your rules seriously and try to abide by them.

That is not to say, that your child will never misbehave or break a rule.  Undoubtedly, it will happen.  However, if you have been consistent with your discipline, your child will move quickly to the correct road.  The simple fact is that it is the parent’s job to keep their children traveling as straight down the road of life as possible.  If the child veers off the road, the parent’s responsibility is to put them back on the road, consistently. Eventually, the child grows into adulthood able to make good decisions and choices.  The whole reason for parenting in the first place.

Copyright © Jamie Nowinski and Grandmother Wisdom/ Grandmother Musings 2012-2013.
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jamie Nowinski – Grandmother Wisdom/Grandmother Musings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
 
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About bigsmileu1

What good is living life if you don't share all the experiences, mistakes, and knowledge you have gained? I am a grandmother, a wife, a mother of two grown children, a Jr. High Teacher for almost two decades, an elementary principal and I want to share my experiences.

3 responses »

  1. I have this problem every day. I don’t have kids but my sister pays me to take care of her kids at my home. Now, I understand I am not the mother of these kids however I have been given “permission” to reprimand if needed. Now, because they’re not my kids this can prove quite difficult. The worst part is that even if I reprimand consistently and take away computer time (one of them is 3 and a half years old and she does some online learning) or tv time or even music time, I don’t know what their mother is doing at home, which I assume is not much because I have had to throw away two patio chairs which they destroyed and I found out Wednesday night that the little one has been picking at a very small glitch that my computer seat had and now it’s about 15 times the size it was before.

    I really like the advice you give on here and like I said I don’t have kids but I hope that when I do I am able to create a reprimand and reward system that will allow me to teach my child to behave well.

    Reply
    • Hi. If you are taking care of your sister’s kids, then you have the right and responsibility to reprimand them when they are with you. Even if your sister’s style is different from yours, you can still have rules and boundries when the kids are with you. Your furniture and house shouldn’t be allowed to be destroyed. You may wish to set strict rules on how the children sit on your things. If they do not follow your rules, then they have a consequence of a time out or maybe they cannnot watch a favorite show. Remember…the consequence should be appropriate for the behavior and the age of the child. For instance: a 2-year-old could have a 2 minute time out. If you have a timer, set it for 2 minutes and show the child that he or she will be able to leave time out when the timer rings. I hope this helps. 🙂

      Reply

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